It’s the Toughest Part of Moving to France

There is so much information out there about “crossing the cultural divide” between the U.S. and France that any American should be prepared for the clash, whether just visiting or making a permanent move. But, usually they are not. We hear the stories. We witness the clashes. Sometimes, you might even call them “collisions!” I’ve had my fair share over the years, too. Then I learned something very important that really opened my eyes to the very core of our differences.

On December 12th, just after I return from the U.S., I will be speaking on a webinar hosted by the Federation of Alliances Françaises USA titled “Crossing the Cultural Divide—It’s the toughest part of moving to France!” I do believe that is true. Everything else about making the move is mechanical—just hurdles to jump that aren’t too high and relatively easy: getting a visa, finding a place to live, etc., etc. Then, once you’re in France and settling in, the fun begins in the challenge to acclimate to this totally new environment.

The French look like us. Maybe they even dress like us. But they don’t think like us or behave like us. What I will attempt to do in this webinar is not explain how to behave to fit in to French life, but how to understand the reasons for those differences so you can recognize them and then act accordingly. If you cannot cross the cultural divide, you will not succeed to live happily in France.

There are several YouTubers, Podcasters and Bloggers who are reporting on their experiences making the move to France, and who are having a hard time transitioning. Some of them have gone so far as to return to the U.S. instead of sticking it out. They often blame France for their missteps. Listen carefully to what they say, because in almost all situations, those who left with their tails between their legs did so because they didn’t do their homework, didn’t prepare for their adventure and didn’t manage to cross the cultural divide effectively.

So, what does that mean, “cross the cultural divide?” The divide is that huge gap between them and us. Our cultural heritage is what is so uniquely different that even if we spoke the same language, we wouldn’t understand one another. And language is certainly a part of it. In fact, language is a big part of it because language and culture are seriously intertwined.

Before the 2024 Olympics, I was asked by the Ministry of Foreign Affairs to make a presentation to a committee for the “Audition de la Mission Sport et Tourisme” on their “Mission de la Promotion du Tourisme” about how to make Americans feel welcome during the 2024 Olympics. It was quite an honor to be asked to speak before their special committee, and one of the biggest cultural collisions I have faced in all the 30 years of living in France.

The Ministry of Foreign Affairs in Paris

The presentation I made that day is very similar to the one I’ll be making on December 12th. It was my goal to explain the very fundamentals of our differences so that they could understand what they will be dealing with, from their own French perspective. What happened there that day fascinated me even more than I already was.

I was the last to make a presentation of the dozen or so people around the big oval table at the office of the Ministry of Affairs. Several hours went by as each person spoke, each in a very quiet voice, with nothing to illustrate their points. They handed out no papers, made no illustration of their points. No one interrupted or asked any questions. It went on long after it was planned to end, but they all waited patiently for each to finish and then for me to make my presentation. (They purposely had saved the best for last!)

My presentation was so distinctly different from anyone else’s that I almost decided not to make it all, but that would have been cowardly, so I swallowed hard and jumped right in. I had prepared a written presentation on sheets of paper neatly tucked into a folder with my business card on the corner and distributed it among the committee members. That was the first sign of something different—I was selling myself. None of the others made any attempt to do such (an American) thing.

I started out in French by apologizing for the fact that my presentation was in English, and that it was very different from the others. It was focused on the cultural differences and it targeted North Americans. I handed out my six copies so they could follow along and thought, “What the hell. What have I got to lose? If I make a fool of myself…so what?” And I was off and running.

Before it was over, the committee members were asking questions, laughing and making jokes. It was amazing to see the French come out of themselves when given the freedom to behave more openly…and not have to follow their strict rules of conduct.

If you want a glimpse of the cultural differences we’ll be talking about on December 12th, and the full story of what transpired that day at the “Ministère de l’Europe et des Affaires Etrangères,” then read the Nouvellettre® from May 30, 2018.

Then, sign up for the webinar!

If you can’t make it, it will be recorded so you’ll be able to watch it on our YouTube channel any time!

See you there!

A la prochaine…