City Living

My new downstairs neighbor knocked on the door as we were moving a few things into the apartment to complain about the noise from our walking on the floor. As it turns out, we know each other, as she is an independent real estate agent and has worked with us in the past. We had already been warned about her, as the previous tenants were three Italian girls who obviously had caused her some grief. I had imagined a cranky old lady, but that wasn’t the case at all. She’s young, French and having this previous relationship with her should help smooth things between us as neighbors.

Meanwhile, there’s nothing we can do about the parquet flooring and any noise we might make while living in the apartment. We’re not like kids running all over, but we do have to walk from one room to the other, and can’t prevent the sound of footsteps. There are carpets down in key areas, but she claimed the worst noise came from one of the bedrooms. The good news, I explained, is that this particular room would be my daughter’s and she won’t be in the apartment after mid-August for at least six months…so she was safe from that noise for a while. I also explained that I’m used to city living and that means noise from the street, noise from the neighbors, and noise from all that life that is outside our doors. (This was a way of hinting that maybe she needs to chill out and not have very high expectations of our ability to live in the apartment without making noise, at least the normal kind, such as footsteps!)

Most Americans moving to France are used to living in their own single-family homes where they can make as much noise as they like without disturbing the neighbors. We moved to France from Los Angeles, where there is no life without driving a car. We lived in a 3,000 square foot house with five bedrooms, three bathrooms and a back yard with a doggy door for our little Cairn Terrier to go in and out by herself. That was American life as most people know it. We didn’t know any different, really.

Moving to a city like Paris or Nice, where almost all the housing in multi-family is already a bit of a culture shock, much less getting used to the noise neighbors can make, including nearby bars and restaurants. The apartment we moved into in Paris those first few years was 1,400 square feet with three bedrooms. By Parish standards, it’s a large apartment, but it was the first culture shock. I got used to the size, but all the windows were on the courtyard, so it was insanely quiet…and insanely boring, too, with nothing of interest to look at from those windows. I vowed never to live that way again.

Our New York City clients generally need urbanity to keep them sane. They often tell us they welcome the noise, otherwise it feels as if there’s no life outside their doors, to which they are not accustomed. I’m sure they’re used to hearing footsteps on their ceilings, too.

Urban life has its benefits that (in my opinion) outweigh the noise from neighbors…like not needing or wanting to own and operate a car! But, one must understand what that means—in France it means freedom! In Los Angeles, it meant prison. Owning and operating a car anywhere is expensive. It’s also risky and probably the most dangerous thing you do in your everyday life. It can be a big hassle, too—finding parking, having the car maintained, filling it with gas or charging it up, washing it, etc.—all things that take time out of your day. When you get older, you won’t even want to drive, or maybe your ability to drive safely has diminished. In addition, when you live in your car, you live in your “bubble,” so you won’t get to know the other townsfolk as long as you go from your house to your garage to your car to wherever you’re going and back again. How isolating that is!

Fortunately, when you live in a world with excellent public transport services, such as France, you won’t want to put yourself at risk or have the hassle or expense of operating a car. Recently (and as it happens quite often), a client expressed her desire to “purchase a two-story stone house with a small fenced-in area for my dogs within tram or walking distance of a TGV so that I may regularly visit Paris without needing a car.”

That’s a very tall order. She can’t have her cake and eat it, too. Stone houses don’t normally exist in urban areas that also offer high speed train access! It’s a pipe dream to think you can have your single-family house and urban living all at the same time. Think again! And choose! You can’t have it all, so decide on what’s really the best lifestyle for you and your future in France.

Another advantage to urban living is all there is to do within immediate proximity. I encourage single women to be in the center of it all so as never to feel lonely and have plenty of things to do and people to meet. A single woman of a certain age living in U.S. suburbia is likely not to venture out at night by herself to avoid the dangers of driving alone…and what kind of a life is that? (It isn’t one.) In a town where everything is within your reach, without a car, you will venture out safely to do whatever you want whenever you want to do it. Isn’t that the kind of life you want?

You’re going to love this little exercise. Click here and fill in the AAA form with the kind of car you currently drive. You’ll discover how much it costs in the U.S. to own and operate, and that’s how much you’ll save not having a car!

Other advantages to living in a multi-family building include how much easier it is to close the door behind you and leave for an extended period of time, which is harder to do with a single-family house. And when you live in an urban area without needing a car, you and your spouse can be more independent of one another to do whatever you want to do whenever you want to do it. That can be a new blessing!

Health is another reason to live where you will be more active. Getting in and out of a car won’t provide the same activity as walking regularly and climbing stairs. I have 70 steps to my Paris apartment and 64 to my Nice apartment. The new apartment has a lift, but as it’s on the second floor, the only times I’ll take the lift is when I have things to carry. Even that worries me—that I won’t get the same level of exercise as I usually do.

Sure, there are disadvantages to living in a condo, too. If you want to play bongo drums, you might get kicked out! That happened to me once—a young neighbor upstairs was bongo-ing away in the middle of the day and it was way worse than just a few footsteps on the ceiling. I banged on his door and exclaimed that his playing was “insupportable!” He did stop, thank goodness.

And you never know what kind of neighbor you’re going to get—they can be great and they can be dastardly. I have a variety of types of neighbors in both Paris and Nice. Regardless of how they treat me, I am always a picture of pleasantness, smiling broadly as I sing “bonjour” in the stairwells and ignore any conflicts we might be having at the time. I refuse to let their bad humor get the best of me.

The quality of the neighbors is a “crap shoot” and can change easily and quickly when someone new moves in…like I did yesterday when my neighbor came knocking on the door to complain about our walking around in our own apartment! I suppose she and I will come to some understanding, but there’s no way to avoid walking around in our own home. Fortunately, I never wear high-heeled shoes and will be pretty much at my desk most of the time (writing missives such as this!).

It’s all part of urban living. You can either live remotely in total peace and quiet, or “brave” the social interaction with others. If you choose to live remotely, then be prepared to live in your bubble, drive a car until you can’t anymore and then end up in a retirement home, instead of your own home in the city where you can be independent!

By the time you read this, I will be fully ensconced in my new Paris apartment. We made the move yesterday and will take the next few days to put everything in its place so we can really call it home. You’ll hear all about it Monday, along with the festivities surrounding the Tour de France as I’m headed to Nice on Saturday in time for the finale.

A bientôt,