Wet Noodles in Djerba

When my friend from Vancouver, Surinder Bains—once the owner of a fancy-schmancy hammam/spa in that city for a long time—said that Djerba was her “happy place” for best spas ever, I said, “Let’s go!”

It took her one second to agree and before we knew it, we had flights to Djerba from Paris on Transavia for 169€ round trip, leaving on Christmas Day, returning last night.

I’d never been to Djerba or Tunisia. Most people spend their holidays with family, but when family is not around, then friends are the next best thing. And when neither one of us is Christian and don’t really celebrate Christmas, then this is the best opportunity to do something as non-secular as this. (Normally, I’d be having Chinese food and going to a movie with other Jewish friends.) In addition, Djerba promised to be a whole lot warmer and sunnier than Paris, which was like living inside a cloud on Christmas Day, the normal weather for this time of year…although it wasn’t all that warm!

Djerba is a picturesque island located just off the coast of Tunisia, celebrated for its fine sandy Mediterranean beaches and distinctive whitewashed desert towns. I hate to admit that I knew nothing about it, nor gave it a second thought before Surinder said it was her happy place. I don’t normally consider visiting Muslim countries, however, the island is influenced by a mix of cultures: Berber, Arab, Jewish, and African.

The main city, Houmt El Souk, is known for its vibrant handicraft markets, a bustling fishing port, and the historic 16th-century fortress, Borj el Kebir. Further south lies the El Ghriba Synagogue, a significant pilgrimage destination for North African Jews. We made a visit to the synagogue part of our destination, too.

We booked the Radisson Blu Palace Resort & Thalasso—that Surinder knew well—for a little more than $500 for four nights in a double room. What a deal! This was looking more attractive all the time, considering how inexpensive it was for both the hotel and the airfare.

Standing in line at customs in Djerba, waiting for our passports to be stamped, I realized I had left my scarf on the plane. All the airport personnel helping with the dilemma couldn’t have been nicer to allow me run back to the plane and retrieve it—having to pass all those boarding for its next flight. One flight attendant waived the scarf in the air as he saw me motioning from the boarding ramp. That was the start of a very positive experience.

The hotel sent their shuttle to pick us up at the airport and off we went. The only thing I could see from the van were the well-lit immaculate roads lined in tall palm trees and lots of stars in the sky. The rest was pitch black. About 20 minutes later, we pulled up in front of a beautiful hotel that resembled the Taj Mahal, or something of that grandeur. “Oh my,” I exclaimed!

We checked in and were led to the massive central hub of the hotel before turning left down a large corridor lined by various facilities—bars, restaurants, boutiques, etc., and then turned right down a glass-roofed tree and plant-filled atrium lined by rooms on both sides and on three levels. Birds were chirping feverishly inside the atrium. Our room was on the right on the ground level with a patio overlooking the garden. It was plain and simple, and the bathroom was a bit out-dated…but adequate.

Surinder knew just where to go and what to do. She recognized many of the hotel staff from when she was there just six months earlier and schmoozed each and every one as she encountered them. That added a boost to the good service we had during the entire stay. Our first dinner was in one of the many restaurants the hotel offers—Italian cuisine, named Zafferano. The atmosphere was pleasant enough with only a few other diners. The food was quite good and pleasant, the service very accommodating, and it all satisfied our hungry bellies and prepared us for what was to come.

This isn’t something I’d ever done before—immerse myself in three solid days of spa treatments, but that’s what we did…committing to their three-day “Cure Classique” of four treatments each day from 3 to 6 p.m., all for less than 300€! Each day consisted of a session of “Aquagym” (exercise with an instructor in a warm salt-water pool), 20 minutes of a “Bains Multi-Jets” (a multi-jet Jacuzzi of which I never wanted to stop), an “Enveloppmement d’Algues” or a “Boue de la Mer Morte” (an algae or Dead Sea mud body wrap from neck to toe) also for 20 minutes without moving a muscle, ending in a 40-minute massage—each day a different type.

Before starting the treatments each day, we indulged in a big breakfast buffet the likes of I’ve never seen. It made a big show with a lot of variety of both Tunisian specialties and basic European and American-style breakfast foods in a circular presentation, surrounded by dining tables. We did this daily.

Our first stop on the first day was designed to get us off to a good start for all three days…by succumbing to a steamy “hammam” (steam bath) for about 15 minutes and then a “gommage” (scrub) using salts from the Dead Sea to take off a top layer of dead skin. We were already feeling like wet noodles the first day—what Surinder predicted would happen to us. And that was just the beginning.

The sun came out from behind the clouds for a short stint. We found ourselves at the hotel’s pool-side restaurant near the ocean, with the sun on our faces, downing a traditional Tunisian dish known as “Ojja”—although you might know it as a “Shakshukah.” This one was made with shrimp, eggs with tomatoes, chili peppers, and onions, spiced with cumin. Everything about the meal and the setting was perfect. We were stuffed beyond belief and thinking Aquagym in the salt-water pool might not be ready for us…with our big bloated bellies. But we managed! Surinder followed the instructor to the letter, while I preferred just swimming in the warm very buoyant water.

For the next three hours, we lavished in the treatments. I had no cell phone, no Airpods, no book, no nothing to occupy me except for my imagination and deep breathing. The facility is beautiful, calm, serene and conducive to total zenism. That was just the first day of three, going through the same motions each day…just lavishing attention on relaxing one’s body and mind. In the beginning I thought about how was I going to handle being so relaxed and doing so little for more than one day, if I could emotionally manage it or not. Then the addiction started to take hold. I found myself looking forward to each day’s afternoon of indulgence…and in the process, started working out the details to make each day a bit better.

The mornings were for ourselves, whatever we felt like doing, then after lunch, the spa experience was all ours. Friday morning we visited the souk in Houmt El Souk, a popular tourist destination filled with tiny shops and hawking shopkeepers seeking any willing victim. I bargained over a tiny pair of sandals for my grandson that I knew my daughter would love. In another shop, run by a French couple, I found some ceramics for the kitchen that would fit well and be used often at a 50% off bargain. (Not sure why—perhaps they were selling it all out?) Funny, they had a sign in their window that said “No photos.” It was then I knew the proprietors must be French—the Tunisians would never deny publicity, but the French see it as inappropriate!

At the souk’s edge, we found a traditional Tunisian restaurant with tables in the sun, “Les Palmiers” (on rue Mohamed Elferjani Place). Sitting next to us was a table of six French men and women who had been living in Djerba for almost 15 years. They offered up their suggestions on what to order. The “kefta” with tomato sauce, fries, rice and salad was delicious…and the price of my meal with two bottles of water, tea and coffee, was a whopping 7€! Everything was very inexpensive, including the taxis. This is a vacation spot that ranks as a big bargain.

To visit the famous synagogue we booked a driver on the last day to take us on a four-hour tour that included several towns and the famous synagogue before we were whisked to the airport to return to Paris. The five hours with the driver was a whopping 60€…another bargain.

The synagogue was first on the agenda. The El Ghriba Synagogue is in the village of Hara Sghira Er Riadh, a few kilometers southwest of Houmt El Souk and is believed to be the oldest synagogue in the world, its origins traced back to the 6th century BCE. According to legend, it claims that a stone or door from Solomon’s Temple or the Second Temple is part of its structure. Extensively renovated in the 19th-century, the synagogue remains the heart of Jewish life on Djerba and serves as a significant pilgrimage site. It has suffered terrorist attacks in 1985, 2002 and 2023…but everyone I spoke to said it was perfectly safe to visit. My daughter was concerned for me, but I wasn’t worried in the least. (It is not in my nature to have fear of the unknown!).

Everything we had learned about the Djerbian Tunisians is that they are very accepting of all religions and found everyone we dealt with to be particularly friendly and accommodating. Based in what is now Tunisia for centuries and numbering some 100,000 Jews at their peak population, there are currently only 1,500 to 2,000 Jews remaining, one third of whom live in the capital and the remainder in Djerba.

As part of our tour, we walked the charming streets of Hara Sghira Er Riadh, stopping in the little shops and admiring the beautiful homes and creative wall murals, then took in a lunch of fresh-caught fish cooked on an open grill at a restaurant in Guellala. Our driver took us on a full tour of the island to fully appreciate the Djerbian scenery—Moorish homes, marshy land and pink flamingos nestled in the shallow waters.

All in all, it was a perfect way to pass the holiday week, with total calm and relaxation.

Observations:

This time of year did not give us the good fortune of enjoying the Mediterranean and the beaches, nor the outdoor pools. But, we didn’t go for that reason, so we didn’t care. Best time of year for this: spring and fall.

We never changed euros or dollars to dinars, as every merchant manages to accept euros or credit card.

Everyone speaks French. The French are the primary tourists. English is their third language.

The Tunisians were friendly, accommodating and easy. We were treated with the ultimate respect wherever we were, even in the souk.

Three days of spa activity might sound like overkill, but at the end of three days, the relaxation of body and mind was total. Yes, my body was like a wet noodle!

Surinder is an expert on spas. She could be highly critical, and found small faults at every turn, but she claims that the Tunisians have magic in their hands and that’s the reason for what she calls paradise. It’s no wonder she comes back time and time again.

Me, I don’t know any better. All I know is that I found four days to fully relax and take in total mind and body therapy, becoming a “wet noodle,” as Surinder predicted I would.

A la prochaine…and Happy New Year!