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That’s a Joke, But, This Isn’t

Confinement Humor

Notice on the Post Office

Trump Mask - The New Yorker

One thing for sure, an awful lot of humor is coming out of this crazy situation we’re in. I am bombarded with funny videos, cartoons, and other missives that have me in hysterics…all at the expense of this insane time in our lives, when our “lives” are within our four walls, never more than one kilometer from home, with only a trip to the market or the pharmacy to which we can look forward…with the exception of emptying the trash or checking the mail (if there is any)! (Read through to the end for the punch lines.)

Mail? That’s a joke. There’s no mail. I ordered some herbal remedies on Amazon to avoid going into the pharmacy (where disease lurks) and because the pharmacies don’t have everything I want. Amazon makes the mistake of using the French postal service. That’s the joke, except the jokes on me. The postal workers often don’t like having to climb my stairs (they get paid whether they deliver the mail or not), so rather than attempt to deliver the item, they leave a note in the mailbox that the item can be retrieved back at the post office the next day, but, guess what? The post office is closed!

On the door of the shut-tight post office in my neighborhood, there is a sign offering up two other post office possibilities. Both are located outside of my one-kilometer radius and there’s no way of telling which one has my item. So, I got on the phone and to my shock and amazement, I was actually able to speak to a customer service representative, two separate times. The bottom line: they didn’t have a clue where the item was, except likely locked up in the post office that is closed and it would be 30 days before I could retrieve it.

Now, that’s not a joke. These are “medicaments” — drugs…the kind that will help keep my immune system running at top speed so as not to catch the dreaded disease. Guess I can kiss them goodbye and pharmacy, here I come, mask and all!

Speaking of masks…U.S. “fearless leader” isn’t wearing one, against the recommendations! NY Times: “… and with President Trump having undercut the new guidance of the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention by immediately declaring that he would not wear a mask himself… it was far from clear how many Americans would embrace the recommendation, though some state and local officials have made a point of doing so. Some health officials feared that people would don masks but loosen their compliance with social distancing guidelines.”

That’s not a joke, either. Can someone explain to me how and why 60 percent of Americans approve of the president’s response to COVID-19?

According to google.com/covid19-map/ that I visited on Saturday evening, here’s how the statistics play out:

Location Confirmed Cases per 1M people Recovered Deaths
Worldwide 1,141,190 146.76 235,775 60,960
U.S. 288,923 876.7 9,920 7,158
Spain 124,736 2,648.3 34,219 11,814
Italy 124,632 2,068.81 20,996 15,362
Germany 92,155 1,108.31 14,361 1,300
China 81,639 58.23 76,751 3,326
France 64,338 959.18 14,008 6,507

So, what do you think? China, believe it or not, where it all started, has fewer per capita cases than anywhere else! And the U.S. is destined to have the most deaths. These are the facts. I just don’t understand, and if that 60 percent don’t think they should be wearing masks, either, then what? Nope, this isn’t a joke.

National Orchestra of France - Virtual Performance

Jewish Irony

Matzo Ball Soup by Rimon

Brenda's Beaver

Israeli Humor Video

French Wine Humor Video

Meanwhile, we law-abiding and responsible citizens are laying low and at home. As is the National Orchestra of France. This might not bring you to tears of laughter but will bring you to tears of joy. Watch and listen to an orchestra of 50 playing TOGETHER, but VIRTUALLY, Maurice Ravel’s “Bolero.” “The performance starts with three musicians: a cellist, a violinist, and a percussionist with ‘Stay home’ written on his red drum. More and more join, until they are an orchestra of 50. Behind the scenes: The musicians got their scores by email. They also got an audio track to listen to through headphones as they played. The musicians recorded themselves over four days in the final week of March. No black tie. The clothes were casual, with open shirts, T-shirts, jeans.” Here’s where you watch and listen.

With Passover coming up this week, I’ve been begging my family in New Orleans NOT to get together for a seder. G-d will understand. It’s a plague, for crying out loud! That’s a joke, but thanks to Stein’s Market and Deli, Passover can come to them, instead. And that’s not a joke! Read all about it at Eater New Orleans.

Good news from the Minister of the Interior, Christophe Castaner, who announced that as of today, our “Attestation de Déplacement Dérogatoire” that we must print, complete, and take with us each time we leave our properties is being replaced by a digital travel certificate in addition to the paper system. The service will be available online, on the website of the Ministry of the Interior of the government. You will be able to edit the form, from your smartphone, in order to present it to the police with a QR Code. You will have to specify your exit time, but the time at which you edited the document will be accessible to the police. This will prevent people from completing the certificate only at the sight of a police check. Thanks to the QR code, the police and gendarmes will not need to take the phone in hand, they will just have to scan the screen.

Now for the laughs:

This one is my favorite
I dare you not to pee in your pants.

And if you think that one’s funny, here’s another “children’s book” to
crack you up

Here’s another one that is sure to crack you up — it gets funnier as the
days go by, thanks to the Israelis

And for really dumb French humor, visit this site 

The punchline? A whole lot of creative talent is emerging from within our confinement. Maybe we should do this more often?

A la prochaine…

 

Adrian Leeds - Paris, France

Adrian Leeds
Adrian Leeds Group

 

 

The Adrian Leeds Group

House Hunters International

P.S. Just a couple of weeks ago, USA Today gave House Hunters International a Grade: A+: “House Hunters International is pinnacle TV viewing and hands-down the best HGTV show. The perfect mix of fabulous real estate agents (LOOKING AT YOU LADY IN PARIS AND DUDE IN ENGLAND), enough scenic beauty to indulge wanderlust, and compelling, but sometimes enraging home buyers. Not only can you get a glimpse of the rental market in foreign countries, but you can also sit back and judge every single American moving to Europe and complaining about how small everything is. Truly, it’s a gift.” (See ftw.usatoday.com/2020/03/ By Hemal Jhaveri from March 21, 2020)

Biden for President

P.P.S. Please join special guest John Kerry, the 68th U.S. Secretary of State for a virtual fundraiser supporting Biden for President on Thursday, April 9, 2020, 1:00 p.m. EDT / 6:00 p.m. GMT. Video call details will be provided on the day of the event. To RSVP, please click here.

For more information, please contact Sanam Rastegar, [email protected]
+1-203-984-4236
(RSVP Required)

 

 


 

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