Emily is Back and Living in the Gray Area

I binge-watched the five episodes of Season 4 of Emily in Paris, as did millions of others. Season 4A is the second most-watched Netflix title, leading the pack in TV. The new episodes premiered with 19.9 million views, while Seasons 1 and 3 also landed on the list, securing ninth and tenth place, respectively.

Americans living in Paris have a love-hate relationship with the show, a sentiment often written about by American bloggers living in France, including me. Darren Star, the show’s creator, can get it so right and so wrong all at the same time. This new season is just as “not real life in Paris” as are the previous episodes, but some of the cultural clashes addressed are as real as it gets. Often I find myself yelling things at the TV such as, “Darren Star, do you really think we’re that stupid?,” and then something might be said that warrants, “Whoa, are your writers actually reading our blogs?!”

Season 1, Emily was wearing outfits that I have worn in my House Hunters International shows. I was sure they had been watching the shows to research what an American in Paris might wear! But, the Parisians do not dress this way. I’m often the odd man out in bright colors when everyone else on the street is in black, gray, brown, navy, taupe or tan and very conservative clothing. And of course, if you wore Emily’s shoes on Paris’ cobblestoned streets, you’d end up in a podiatrist’s office or worse—in the hospital with a broken ankle. Top it off with needing a millionaire’s bank account to afford such an elaborate designer wardrobe! Still, the fashion is fun and as whimsical as the scenes of Paris, visually corrected to look like they were shot in a backlot stage in Hollywood.

It totally annoys me when the scenes don’t coincide with real locations. For example, somehow Emily manages to go from central Paris to Monet’s garden in Giverny in record time (minutes) when we all know that one must take a train from Gare Saint-Lazare to Vernon—that runs about once an hour—then take a “navette” or shuttle to the town, or walk, taking 1.5 hours at the very, very minimum without even being at the station in advance or knowing the train schedule. And when Emily and Gabriel meet at the back of Le Bouillon Chartier in the 9th arrondissement with a group of friends after hours (when does that actually happen?), they walk out and are suddenly crossing Pont Neuf, a 30-minute walk away. That’s when I start screaming at the TV screen again.

In Season 2, Emily is on a train to Saint-Tropez, which is impossible, since no train goes to Saint-Tropez. Instead she ends up in Villefranche-sur-Mer and Saint-Jean-Cap-Ferrat, but the audience “doesn’t know” that. That got a lot of bad press from France. I heard that the city of Villefranche-sur-Mer took up issue with the show producers for being misrepresented. Star doesn’t think we know the difference, or that we don’t care, since the only thing the audience cares about are great scenes of the city! He’s wrong. We do know and we do care.

These are just some of the reasons we have this love-hate relationship with the show. Meanwhile, one thing that struck us was the episode about the “The Gray Area” (Season 4, Episode 4), because if we want to survive in French culture, we must learn to live in the “gray area.” It’s something we Americans in France discuss often. One online blog described the show as “an episode that richly explores the nuances of relationships and personal boundaries.” Maybe…but we Americans in France see it as more than that. For us, the “gray area” is not only about nuances of relationships, but more about managing French administration and French law so that one can live within it without going nuts!

There’s something called “System D” or “The Gray Economy.” “The term System D is adapted from the French word débrouillard. A débrouillard is a resourceful and self-reliant person that can figure out how to get what they need regardless of the obstacles. It was born from the mistrust of outsiders (“etrangers”) in medieval France when there was a real fear of trusting others for help. It possibly explains the against-the-grain French way of doing things which at times is not understood by foreigners. Interestingly, there are few Frenchmen débrouillard from the past 50 years as the former French Colonies of Africa and Asia produce the débrouillards of today. The obstacles in the gray economy are usually the laws, price controls or taxes put in place by the state.” (Source)

We believe that the hardest parts of living in France are not the hurdles of getting here, but managing life on a daily basis and crossing the cultural divide. Emily in Paris is such fantasy land that it makes it look awfully easy, but it can be extremely challenging and go against our American grain. If you plan on living here, be prepared to live in the gray!

Next week I will celebrate 30 years living in France. When we came over, it was with the idea of staying one year, knowing that if we didn’t like it, we’d go back to Los Angeles. Obviously that didn’t happen, and now 30 years later I can’t imagine living anywhere else…especially the U.S. Emily is discovering the same thing herself in Season 4. She has embraced life in Paris and doesn’t want to return to Chicago.

Crossing the cultural divide is a big reason it’s impossible to go in reverse; back to living with blinders on. The U.S. never stops puffing up its chest and declaring that it’s the best at everything, because that’s what they believe and are taught to believe. I listened to all of the recent Democratic National Convention speeches by some of my favorite people: Oprah Winfrey, Michelle Obama and of course, Kamala Harris. They had me in tears on a few occasions with their enlightening and moving words, but then I remembered that these women haven’t lived anywhere else, and would never have dreamt of that, so they are as indoctrinated as any average American. Even though they have all traveled all over the world, they haven’t lived long enough in any of them to know the difference.

The truth is that the U.S. is not a perfect world at all, and it’s not the best at everything. In fact, it has a long way to go before it comes close to providing the quality of life we have in France. That’s why we can’t go back. And this is without our blinders on…with the ability to see all sides of the proverbial coin…as well as the world. Emily is getting a taste of it and she’s not leaving, either. Have you noticed? She’s learning to live in the Gray Area.

So, even if Kamala Harris wins the presidency, and I certainly hope she does, it won’t actually change much, at least not in the short term. She will have a very uphill battle against the extreme capitalists and conservatives who are ruled by money and not the interests of the people. This means poor medical care with high costs; this means low quality education and its costs; this means lack of gun control; this means loss of women’s rights and inequality for all people; this means a weak safety net if any at all, etc., etc., etc. Need I go on?

I’ve learned to live in the Gray Area. I’ve had the advantage of the best health care in the world at almost no cost; I’ve benefited from sending my daughter to quality schools at no cost; I’ve enjoyed all the perks of being surrounded by art and culture on a daily basis; I’ve met hundreds of people with intellectual thinking open to discussing ideas from all angles and become dependent on unbiased international news reporting. I’ve also enjoyed living without the necessity of a car thanks to great and inexpensive public transportation, and immediate access to other cultures and languages by being in the center of Europe where one can travel easily and inexpensively.

Emily is back. When are you going to change your life for the better, too? Come live in the Gray Area with the rest of us.

A la prochaine…