Gobsmacked

Not only have I been “gobsmacked” more this week than perhaps ever. It’s a word that has popped up many times out of the mouths of different people, for different reasons, just in the last few days. It’s not a word I’ve ever used before, and here it is, smacking me in the face over and over again…as if it’s trying to tell me something.

You know what it means?: completely shocked or astonished, surprised, taken unawares or suddenly and feeling wonder or astonishment. Any of those words work, but for these purposes, we’ll stick with gobsmacked.

GOBSMACKED IN THE CELLAR

Diane (my assistant) and I went down to my “cave” (cellar) to put into it a big box with an old printer in it, and a big bag filled with other bags (that we call the “bag of bags”). It happens to be a large, vaulted ceiling cellar at the foot of the stone stairs of Stairwell A that I had outfitted with a concrete floor, fluorescent lighting and shelving. It’s clean as a whistle. The lights to the building’s cellar weren’t working, so we used our iPhones to light the path and carefully descend into the depths of Paris earth.

We had three sets of keys with us, and to our gobsmacking surprise, none of them worked…none of them. This was already incomprehensible—they were the keys to the cellar for the last 20 years and there was no mistaking my own cellar for anyone else’s.

I took a photo of the lock and went to the locksmith (and shoe repair), Michel at Expresso Service (Expresso Service, 8 passage Vendôme, 75003 Paris, +33 1 42 74 45 55), who has been my locksmith for 30 years. He took one look at the photo and thought perhaps someone had tried to break into the cellar and that’s why the keys weren’t working.

That, in itself, is not gobsmacking. That happens all the time in Paris, so we didn’t think too much of it and scheduled Michel to come change the lock. He arrived at about 7:30 p.m. Monday evening. We descended the stairs using our phone flashlights and he took one look at the lock.

“Adrian, this lock does not go with those keys,” he exclaimed, “one hundred percent!”

“Michel, this is my cellar. These are the keys. I know what cellar is mine and I know what keys go to it.”

“I’m telling you: this lock does not use those keys!”

Gobsmacked! That’s what I was. He started to drill into the lock so that we could enter the cellar and he could change the lock. It wasn’t easy. After several tries, I happened to look up and saw a set of four keys hanging on a nail above the door. WTF? Gobsmacked again.

Yep, those keys did fit the lock, but it was too late, as he had already drilled well into the lock. We were able to get the door open and saw nothing disturbed. The cellar was just like the last time I’d seen it. He changed the lock, handed me four new keys, packed up and we ascended into the entry of Stairwell A…both of us gobsmacked.

Who could have done that without notifying me? Why would someone change the lock on someone else’s cellar and leave the keys so that anyone could enter it? Was it our contractor who did the renovation work in my apartment? Was it the building’s managing agent to make a repair of the elevator (which lives just next door to my cellar door)? What a mystery. Surely there was an explanation.

Many text messages and emails later to all of the parties potentially guilty of such a crime revealed nothing. No one would admit to it. I was even more gobsmacked. It may remain a mystery forever and I will forever be gobsmacked…but for now, I have a new lock (they aren’t cheap), a new set of keys, and relative peace of mind that no one else can get into the cellar…but me.

GOBSMACKED BY GERHARD RICHTER

I wasn’t familiar with the artist’s work, but my visiting art dealer friend from New York, Melissa Alonso, insisted we go to the exhibition currently on at the Fondation Louis Vuitton (till March 2nd, 2026), a major retrospective of works by Gerhard Richter. He’s one of the most influential contemporary artists, born in Dresden, Germany in 1932. She is currently brokering deals with a few of his works, valued in the millions of dollars and wanted/needed to see the exhibition.

I booked us there at 11:30 a.m. on Saturday with the idea of having lunch at the Le Frank Restaurant first before seeing the exhibition. It’s a little pricey, but quite good and makes the entire journey a special experience. You can’t make a reservation, so with this timing, you can wait a few minutes at the head of the line so that when they open at noon, you get one of the best tables. (There is method in my madness.)

Richter fled East Germany for Düsseldorf in 1961 before settling in Cologne, where he currently lives and works. This landmark show spans over six decades of his work, from 1962 to 2024, and fills all of the Fondation’s gallery spaces. You’ll find a vast range of media—including oil paintings, glass and steel sculptures, pencil and ink drawings, watercolors, and overpainted photographs—roughly 270–275 works arranged chronologically to trace Richter’s evolving artistic vision.

Again, I was gobsmacked, but left confused. Some of the works I loved. Some of the works I hated. Some were mind-boggling and others didn’t pass the “so what” test. Melissa had the same reaction. We fled past the pencil drawings, but stood for many minutes admiring each of his “blurry” paintings that are based on photographs—family snapshots, newspaper images, or archival photos—that he paints realistically and then softens by dragging a dry brush or squeegee across the surface while the paint is still wet.

Then, there are the paintings known as his Color Chart (Farbtafeln) works, begun in the mid-1960s and revisited throughout his career. These paintings are composed of grids of small, evenly sized squares, each filled with a single, often brilliant color. My first thought was of a Pantone color chart, yet the colors were chosen randomly or semi-randomly, sometimes using commercial paint catalogs. They are cool, systematic, and quietly mesmerizing, yet unmistakably his…even though they have nothing to do with his blurry works.

In Melissa’s mind and maybe in most people’s are Richter’s abstract paintings—often referred to as Abstrakte Bilder—that are among his most celebrated and complex works. Richter has said they are not meant to symbolize anything specific; instead, they exist as records of process, accident, and revision. What you see is the result of decisions made—and undone—over time. I could fully relate to some, but others left me cold and even averse.

As I said. I left gobsmacked and confused. And this is why you should try to visit it before it’s no longer there…and have lunch at Frank first!

GOBSMACKED BY GYROTONICS

It’s quickly becoming a regular habit…Gyrotonics. The first sessions I had were in Maui with Joyanna Ananda, with the goal of getting my weak back in good and strong shape. Those who know it, along with Pilates, claim it will work best to fully recover from the herniated disk I suffered this past summer.

There are a few studios in Paris that offer the training and at least one that I know of in Nice where I’ll practice. I’ve had a couple of sessions with Romina at Institut Essenza in Paris and will be checking out Alexandra’s in Nice this coming Friday. This, along with Qigong, that has become a daily morning routine since the Covid-19 pandemic, will put me on the road to good spine health.

For those of you who don’t know Qigong, it’s a traditional Chinese form of exercise and breathing practice based on knowledge and control of the breath, combining slow movements, breathing exercises, and concentration. My favorite YouTube videos to follow are given by Kseny Gray. She has hundreds, available free of charge, most of which are about 15 minutes long, so it’s not a big time investment.

You need no special clothing; you need not venture out of your living room or bedroom (wherever you have a TV or computer screen) to follow along and feel great the rest of the day. Couple that with regular Gyrotonics and you’ll be as gobsmacked as I am how quickly your back will be back in shape.

GOBSMACKED BY GROUP CONSULTATIONS

Have you been thinking seriously about moving to France? If so, you’re in very good company. We may not have perfect government statistics showing exactly how many Americans want to leave the U.S. since Donald Trump was elected, but we do have mountains of evidence—from polling, search data, and our own day-to-day work—that the desire to relocate abroad is growing rapidly. Almost every client we have says it’s at the top of their list of reasons for making the move to a better place to live…namely France.

Our recent Group Consultations went so well that we’re doing them again: February 5th and 12th at 4 p.m. France time (7 a.m. Pacific, 10 a.m. Eastern). This is the best way to begin the process.

Each session will be led by Patty and me together on Zoom for 90 minutes. She has more than 10 years with us, is a logistics magician and knows the administrative process inside and out. She has answers for absolutely everything. Between the two of us, we’ll be able to answer every question.

Here’s what you’ll get:

• Direct answers to your questions
• The chance to hear what others are asking
• Community, camaraderie, and connection
• Expert insight at a fraction of the cost

Dates & Times (France/CET): February 5 and 12 at 4:00 p.m. CET (7 a.m. Pacific/101 a.m. Eastern)

Each session lasts 90 minutes.

We can’t publish our fee structure in an email, but I can tell you this: The cost is < 28% of a consultation with me and < 39% of the cost of one with Patty. And you get both of us—for the price of one!

There are only 12 spots total.
Six per session.
Once they’re gone, they’re gone.

Bring a spouse, partner, or friend—no extra charge. If you’re serious about moving to France, this is the smartest first step you can take.

Register now before your spot is taken!

A la prochaine…